The following talk was given by Fr. Paul Burchat of Madonna House at OLSWA's Day of Recollection on September 15. 

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child;  when I became a man I gave up childish ways.” (1Cor. 13: 11).

 “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (Lk. 2:49).

  The significance of the first quote is fairly obvious. The second less so but very important. Jesus is only twelve years old but already knows that it is time to respond more directly to His Father’s will.  He is not asserting His independence for any selfish reason nor is He making a complete break from home at this time.  However, He is informing His parents that a process of separation has begun.  

  In light of this I would ask you, “Why have you come here?”  Simply to move away from your family - to assert a false independence – or because like Jesus you know you must now be more focused on and busy with God’s will for your life and have come here to learn how to better do this?

  Do you still want to be a child or an adult?  Age does not automatically equate with maturity.  Or as the saying goes, “You are only young once but you can be immature forever.”

  We are male or female by nature but manhood or womanhood is formed by cooperating with grace and having good role models.  The Academy creates an environment where it is possible for this transformation to happen to one degree or another, but only you can make it happen.

   In fact, if we are interested in changing the world for the better, the place to start is with ourselves.

  “If we wish to improve the world, the place to begin is not ‘someplace else’, with  institutions  or cultures, but with ourselves, within where we actually live innermost to  ourselves.”  - The Order of Things, Fr. James Schall, S.J., Ignatius Press, 2007, p.86).

   Before that though, we have to first make sure the world does not change us.  Our world is quite removed from living by Christian principles.  It is very easy to begin to suspect that others are right and the Church is wrong.  Slowly or not so slowly, without even realizing it, our faith and morals can be eroded.

   So if you haven’t already made the choice, you need to decide whether you want to make the faith your own or not.  We will walk with you in this endeavor, but we cannot walk for you.  That is a choice that will have to be renewed every day.  Every morning I have to remind myself that I will live as a priest this day.  But of course making the choice is not enough.  We must follow that up with the right action.  Jesus did not only talk about the cross - He actually went up on it.

   Why is this important?   Because only by doing so will you become the person God wants and needs you to become and thus achieve real happiness and fulfillment; not pleasure but a deep sense of satisfaction.   Pleasure is something we choose, but it is fleeting, whereas happiness is the by-product of being faithful.  A mature person chooses to be faithful and knows that happiness will take care of itself.

   What does this maturity look like?

1) We take responsibility for ourselves. We do not expect others to do for us what we should be doing for ourselves. Immature people want their rights and freedoms but not duties and responsibilities. When things go wrong they want to blame others and have someone else clean up the mess.  We can’t have one set without the other. The hardest thing I have had to learn to say is not, “I am sorry.” (Sorry for what? Because I got caught or because I hurt you more than I intended?) but “I was wrong, I made a mistake.”

2) We will use our freedom in a responsible manner and we will do this in two ways:
        
a)  We will not give free rein to our passions and sensual appetites.  We will rule them.   They will not rule us.
b)  We will freely choose to the good and the best.

3) We will become more thoughtful and less impulsive (reacting without thinking) while remaining spontaneous (we give situations enough thought and then don’t hesitate but move into  action).

4) We become more focused on the wellbeing of others and don’t simply attend to our needs and desires.  As students you represent OLSWA to the broader community and what they think of the school will be somewhat determined by what they see you doing or not doing.

5) We have the patience to pursue long-term objectives and goals.  We stop looking for instant gratification.  (“For you have need of endurance, so that you may do the will of God and receive what is promised,” Heb. 10:36).

6) A mature person understands they have control of their choices, not the consequences, but realizes that they are still responsible for those consequences.  Fr. Schall says, “Our subjective intentions do not obliterate the objective standards that govern things.” (p.87)  Saying I didn’t mean for this or that to happen won’t change the fact that it did happen or relieve us of the burden of making things right.

7) We will fulfill our commitments and obligations.

How do you achieve this maturity?

1) The most obvious answer is that you have to want it and you have to work at it. “Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”. (James 1: 2-4).

2) In light of the above quote we cannot achieve our goal without the cross, whatever that is for each of us.  Usually it means fidelity to the simple tasks we have before us every day. Essentially, it boils down to doing the next right thing throughout the entire day.

3) We must never forget that we have enemies in this life who are determined to destroy us, commonly referred to as the World, the Flesh and the Devil.  St. Paul in first Corinthians says, “Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; be babes in evil, but in thinking be mature” (14:20).  He is saying we must understand the ways of evil, but resist its attraction and not indulge it.
                  Flesh:  our own concupiscence and disordered sensual appetites.
                  World:  the sum of all flesh.
                  Devil:  the personal presence of evil.  “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may    be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we are not contending     against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of    wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Eph. 6:11-12)  And of course we must    never  forget what St. John says in this regard, “the whole world is in the power of   the evil one.” (1Jn. 5:19)

4) I live a human life, not a spiritual life.  We all have a variety of needs: physical, emotional, intellectual, social (relational), and spiritual.  I must attend to all of these in the right manner. I cannot ignore any of them.  If  I don’t satisfy them in the right way I will be tempted to satisfy them in the wrong way.  Not taking care of one of these needs will adversely affect other areas of my life as well, eg. repressed emotions can affect my physical health.

5) In light of this I would say that balance is an absolutely indispensable element if I am to reach maturity, realize my full God-given potential, and be truly happy.  Each one must find this balance for himself.

6) A word about Our Lady’s role in all of this:
 
 She is the mother of Jesus’ mystical body (the Church) as well as his physical body,  signified by the overshadowing of the holy Spirit at the Annunciation and Pentecost.   She was also given to us as mother by Jesus during the crucifixion when he entrusted her to St. John.  Therefore she has a real mother’s role in our life.  In the early stages of life a child is closest to its mother.  But her ultimate task is not to draw the child closer to herself but to eventually hand it over to the father for the final phases of the shaping of its personality.  (Aside:  Adolescent boys are taken for some sorts of rites of passage to shape them into young men and the girls need their father’s affirmation of their femininity so they will be secure in their womanhood as they mature and not feel the need to go looking for errant male attention which usually is unhealthy if not immoral and ultimately undermines their dignity and self respect). So Mary’s role entailed handing Jesus to Joseph to form his human nature and to God the Father for instruction regarding his divine mission.  She will do the same for us as indicated by her last words in the gospel, “Do whatever he tells you” (Jn. 2:5).  She will keep turning us over to Jesus.  She also knows when it is time for us to serve others.  She recognized the need at the  wedding at Cana and encouraged Jesus to rectify the difficulty.  She will nudge us to service as well.
 

Fr. Paul's talk can be downloaded in PDF form here.